Monday, April 21, 2014

Overheard // Making Plans for the Best Friend's Future Small Human

Babies Are Such a Nice Way to Start People- Don Herold

Steph, if you're reading this, you're awesomesauce. And I'm writing out our texty conversation here because I think it's hilarious and I don't want my phone to delete it like it does all our other hilarious texts. Who knew smart phones don't keep the full log of texts and just start deleting things after we've reached a certain space limit? Silly smart phones. ):

Mickeyla, if you're reading this, you should TOTALLY stick with those plans to allow Steph and I to babysit often. We'll be the best crazy aunties ever. *thumbs up*

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Steph: I'm glad you tolerate my weirdness.

Me: Tolerate? Dear, the correct word is "appreciate." I think your weirdness is cool because I'm a little odd, too! :D

S: :) That's what makes our friendship so awesome possum.

M: (I just went looking for an #awesomepossum on Instagram so I could send it to you, but the hashtag is all selfies! Lame).
M: So instead, I shall send you this!

S: SOOOO CUTE. WHERE CAN I GET ONE?

M: STEP ONE. FIND A MAN.
M: STEP TWO. MAKE GOOGLY EYES AT CHOSEN MAN.
M: STEP THREE. TELL SAM SHE'S GOING TO BE A CRAZY AUNTIE.
M: STEP FOUR. FLUFF YOUR SMALL HUMAN'S HAIR TO INSANE HEIGHTS.
M: TADA.

S: What if Step One and Two fail?
S: My eyes just ain't googly enough.

M: Hmm.
M: ALTERNATE STEP ONE. BORROW MICKEYLA'S SMALL HUMAN.
M: ALTERNATE STEP TWO. FLUFF IT'S HAIR TO INSANE HEIGHTS.
M: ALTERNATE STEP THREE. SMILE AND POSE WITH YOUR CREATION SO AUNTIE SAM CAN TAKE A PICTURE.
M: ALTERNATE STEP FOUR. CACKLE EVILLY AS SAM SENDS MICKEYLA THE PHOTO AND ASKS HOW HER DATE NIGHT IS GOING.
M: MOOHAHAHAHAHA.
M: (Adventures in babysitting, Steph & Sam edition).

S: Hahahahaha. And then steal the child 'cause, let's face it, it's gonna be the cutest baby in the world.

M: Sers. The dimples. I die.

S: I will be poking her baby's cheeks a lot.

M: CHEEKS.

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To be clear, Mickeyla is nowhere close to creating a small human, so this squishy-cheeked child is purely fictional. But this conversation was for real. *nods*

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